Why is a cat in the desert like Christmas? Because Egypt is a country of deserts, the Egyptians had cats and Jesus, Mary and Joseph escaped to Egypt in the Christmas story before Herod carried out his massacre in Bethlehem on baby boys of under two years old.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock knock. Who's there? Bob, your neighbor. Okay, come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A friend? Just a friend that you told to stop pretending to be me? And you had no idea whatsoever that I am Nero as in not one of the six hundred thousand wabbabes?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why is lady gaga so famous? because she has a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I have read the terms and conditions

thumb_up thumb_down -5

who lives a pineapple under the sea? a proper spazztwat.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red Violets are blue I look down My pants are brown.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats black,white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Joke below was made by Daniel Textor, he's a d i c k.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Mr Mac reminds me that no matter how hard you try you will always lose your hair

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what do you do when you see a black man punching a girl? act like you dont see it and get the hell out of harms way

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: Why was the old man sad? A: Because he has a quarter super glued to the bottom of his foot

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why did the blond get and abortion? because she was forcefully raped by her 42 year old boy friend and felt she could not raise a child on her own.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the sheriff call the death of a black man who was shot 14 times? -The worst case of suicide he'd ever seen.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Who's a tool and a NARC? Josh Brami!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How did the thief acquire a lamborghini? He has a side job as a lamborghini salesman.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what is the difference between the number 2 and the number 5 3

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set the alarm for a reasonable time. - Louis

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A jew walks into a church. he wishes to be touched by God.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why did the hater hate? everyone else has a much better life

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats long, green and falls out of trees? A canoe. Why did the old man fall out of the tree? He was in the canoe.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops