A man walks into a bar. He walks out again remembering he forgot his wallet.

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Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

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Who is that? That is my daughter, She likes climbing trees.

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The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's really irrelevant when you realize this joke is about a suicidal chicken...

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Why was 7 afraid of 6, because 6 raped 5

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Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

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bangers and mash?

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Why did the chiken cross the road? idk, i can't talk to chikens

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what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

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Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're parents are dead All your friends are too

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what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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What's purple and fuzzy? A piece of purple fuzz.

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What is the difference between my pet goldfish and an african village? My pet goldfish has water.

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What do you call a blind guy in a library? Kevin. Unless his name isn't Kevin.

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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What is orange and smells like oranges? Oranges.

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What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

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When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

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Are you kidding? If you can slow down time when stressed, then that means that your perception of time is, well... Oh relative, but still wow! What about now though? Can you do it? And for curiosity`s sake, what if you jumped off a roof? Would the stress make it all really slow?

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knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops