How do you scare a plumber? Kill his family.

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What happened to the man taking a shit? An unfortunate drop of water splashed back onto his arse

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Help i have fallen and i cannont get up Life alert life alert To bad just sit there we dont care

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What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

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Guess what? What? You guessed correctly.

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What happens when you run over a black man? It is most likely that he is killed.

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what did the boy with no arms get for christmas? A pair of robtic arms and now he has super stregth so he fuk up any body who said he would get cancer.

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Why didn't little Timmy get anything for Christmas? He was an orphan living on the streets.

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3 women are on a plane. One blonde, one brunnete, and the other a red head. The pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. The 3 women find out that there is only one parachute in the plane. The plane crashes and they all die.

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Whats worse to see 100 dead babies on the bed of a truck or 100 fake babies falling directly from the empire state building... I don't know I have never seen either but if you could tell me if you saw it maybe i can use my imaination!!!

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Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a car.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Not all poems rhyme Penis

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She didn't. Despite losing her arms in a terrible accident as a child, Suzy persevered to become a renowned gymnast. After several turns as a champion Special Olympian, Suzy retired from sports in order to tour elementary schools as a guest speaker. She inspired thousands of disabled children across North America and was a highly-respected orator. Suzy sadly passed away in 2009 at the age of 62. She is survived by her two lovely daughters, Karen and Michelle.

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How do you stop the London riots? - You employ a a highly effective police tactic to diffuse the crisis as quickly as possible.

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An IRS agent named Harold Crick finds that he has the ability to hear a narrator comment on every moment of his life. He later becomes institutionalized in the Schizophrenic ward.

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What did the sad orphan with liver cancer get for Christmas? Pictures of dead babies to put things in perspective.

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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Alex Gedrose.

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What did the homeless man buy with a dollar? Nothing. He didn't have a dollar.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The rabbi survives.

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how do you tune a piano, you dont, piano tuners tune a piano, I wasn't talking to you!

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What's worse than a bag of dead babies? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Jews.

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Who pushed joe off the building? Nobody. joe hated his life and wanted to die

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops