What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? The sandwich is hidden under the couch, and is non-migratory.

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Haikus are lovely But sometimes do not make sense Refrigerator

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good because it is important to keep food chilled to prevent it from spoiling and wasting you money

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A man walks into a bar and says, "I'll take a drink."

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In other news, a Florida man was arrested today for stealing candy...with a knife.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'who the f*ck let a horse in here, get it out now'.

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What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

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Polly went out for a fag. Then she was raped.

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

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What do a Jew and a whale have in common? They're both Jewish. Except the whale.

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A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

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Yo momma is so stupid, she is in rehab and will unlikely get over her mental illness leading to her soon and fatal death.

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An African-American is working on math problems and notices an Asian man walking by. The African American asked,"Could you help me out on these math problems?" The Asian man replied, " I have never been good at math."

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Do you know whats funny to say to someone unless they're black. Your ma's in jail.

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What's brown and sits in the woods? Winnie's poo

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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How does a person put an elephant in a closet? First they have to open the door, then put the elephant in and close the door. That was easy well how does a person put a giraffe in. You probably said open the door and put the giraffe in and close the door. Well you missed a step first you have to take the elephant out then you can put in the giraffe. Well both animals are to big to fit in a closet so you can't put them in and also the person who put the animals in is schizophrenic and the animals are fake so if you believed that you could fit them in there you might be delusional.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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