Two muffins are in an oven. And by muffins I mean jews. They both die a horrible death.

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What did the douche bag get for Christmas?

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? Becuase he was hit by a couch.

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A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "We don't serve food here." The sandwich charges the barman for discrimination.

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Have you seen the blind man's new house? No. Neither has he.

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Two homosexuals are making love in the kitchen. One leaves for a bit and says, "Dont finish without me." Upon returning, white goo is spattered across the floor. Concerned that the clumsily dropped icing may stain, they promptly clean it.

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One time there was a man walking down the street. Wrong, it is physically impossible to walk down a street, you can only walk along it.

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why did the cow cross the road because he wanted to go to the mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove

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what do you call a door made of steel? a steel door

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I just found my mum has Alzheimer's, I hope it isn't contagious cause my mum has it too

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what did the baby say to his mum? he sed bfirbvuirnvkjwmndckie

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What's similar between the Alabama Crimson Tide and a maggot? They've both been feeding off of a dead Bear for 30 years...

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I was going to write about anti-climaxes but then I didn't.

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A man goes to the potty.

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Me: Hey mom Mom: Hey Son Me: Whats? for dinner? Mom: I dont know

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Two cows are out in a field grazing. One falls over and dies because it was unhealthy and was ravaged with a deadly disease. The other cow, which does not understand death, continues to graze until the farmer moves it back to the barn.

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Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

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what is bad about being a black jew? you have to sit in the back of the oven

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What's dark, scary, and full of puppies? My van. I lied about the puppies...

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Science debated on whether Dinosaur hide was like leather But though quite absurd They thought, like a bird Velociraptor was covered in feathers.

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what is my catphrase nothing I am too good to have one

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God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

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what do hookers and bungee jumping have in common? They are both 100$ to be in/on and if the rubber breaks your screwed

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What is green and red and is going super fast? A frog in a blender.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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