why did the woman leave her husband? after years of mental and physical abuse she has decided to remove herself from the situation

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Q. What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? A. An ambulance due to the fact that he has a rather serious head wound.

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do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

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why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

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what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

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What did the fat kid eat for dinner? Salad, he's on a diet.

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Whoever is reading this, I love you and I hope you have a great day.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swings? Because I threw a refrigerator at her.

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Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

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what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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i put a oie in the oven, it baked

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I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

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What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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Why did the cookie shader Because someone dropped it

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

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What's the best way to get high without doing drugs? Jump.

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

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Why did the black man fall down the stairs? Because he was blind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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