- Anti Joke

Roses are red Violets are blue I love you a lot But you're dead and I have unhealthy necrophiliac tendencies

Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

what do you get when you cross a jellyfish, a jar, and a brown crayon? i dont know, im not into genetics, and jars dont have genes.

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

What's red, green and smells like crap? Green and red crap.

How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

The Yak, a long-coated bovine found in the Himalayas, is named for its distinct call, which sounds similar to "yak-yak-yakyak".

Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a light bulb Why? Because they're so darn stupid

To men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

Q: What's worse than one dead baby at the bottom of a trash can? A: One dead baby in ten trash cans.

How do you make an egg laugh? That is an irrational question eggs are inanimate object and are unable to laugh

A horse walks into a bar and asks the bartender "why the long face?" The bartender replies "this is the fourth time this week a horse walked into my bar and every time it happened i have to clean up a bunch of horse pooh!"

What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

Q: Why was the man eating his foot? A: Because he was a part of the circus.

Guy 1: Ask me if I have a banana in my ear. Guy 2: Do you have a banana in your ear? Guy 1: Sorry I can't hear you I have a banana in my ear

What did the the man, the dog, and the psychiatrist talk about? The man's childhood experience losing his pet as a contributer to his symptoms of psychosis.

Q:What did the turtle say to the jaguar? A: Well, a turtle and a jaguar live in totally different habitats, turtles live in water while jaguars live in grasslands, so it would be unlikely for them to cross paths and communicate. Turtles and jaguars are unable to speak and, if a jaguar were to talk to a turtle, the turtle would be unable to make out words because turtles can only pick up vibrations. And, they would have nothing to talk about.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had escaped from the farmer's field. The family were not too disheartened, as the rest were still contained.

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both fruit. Except the elephant.

What did the hispanic say to the black guy? I'm not sure. I wasn't listening because eavesdropping is rude.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops