How do you kill a Jewish person? Like any other person, they are like any other person of any race and religion.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was among thousands of men who were also from Nantucket.

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a man walks into a casino, it's the third time this week and he's contemplating suicide.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

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why did the T-Rex eat the other dinosaur? Because it is a carnivorous animal.

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Have you ever been to Uranus? Well I heard it's nice this time of year.

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a man walks into a bad part of town he is shot 13 times and dies.

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When would you find a Mexican, Asian, Black and white guy hanging out? Never

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What is a hammer? It's not a screwdriver

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What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

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Roses are red Violets are purple, and anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong.

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Here comes the bride, all dressed in white. Here comes the groom, carrying a broom, because somebody spilled something on the floor.

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Why did the guy eat pizza? Because he likes pizza.

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What did the aborted fetus say to the recycling bin? Nothing because it isn't capable of speaking, and it was in the dumpster

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What did the farmer say when he found his tractor? "There's my tractor."

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What's worse than finding The Holocaust in your apple? Most things, because that's impossible.

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Why did Schrödinger's Cat cross the road? It didn't

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why did the kid sit alone at lunch? he had no friends

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How do you know if an elephants been in your fridge? It's completely destroyed.

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why couldn't the bicycle stand up on it's own? because it was two tired

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One day there was 3 bears, a papa bear, a mama bear, and a baby bear. They were out swimming when suddenly a girl comes over to their house and tries to sit down. She sits on the big chair and says "too big", then she sits on the little chair and says "too small" and then sits on the medium chair and says "just right". Suddenly, the bears come back. Papa bear: "somebody has been sitting on my chair!" Baby bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair too!" Mama bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair, and she still here!" The girl says "Hi my name is Goldilocks." After about few minutes introducing each other, they ate dinner and they all had a great time.

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What did the the man, the dog, and the psychiatrist talk about? The man's childhood experience losing his pet as a contributer to his symptoms of psychosis.

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Is your refrigerator running? If so, it sounds like you've got a well manufactured, correctly working appliance. If not, you might want to either have a technician come over and look at it or you should simply replace it with a working one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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