do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

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A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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a man checks his mypsace

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How do you make an ugly person not ugly? Put a bag over their head. With,, a smiley face.

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What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

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Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

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What do you call a chicken that can't lay eggs? a rooster

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Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

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What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

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Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

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How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

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What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

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1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

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Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

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I recently sent 10 puns to a joke website, hoping that one of them would win a competition. Unfortunately, they were deemed offensive.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. This one doesn't.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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2 bald men are standing on an oval, one turns to the other and says "leukemia."

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So, there's three blondes. Two of them walk into a bar. The third one missed it.

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Knock knock Who's there? Overused punchline Overused punchline who? The Holocaust.

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Your mom is so fat she probably has a body mass index of between 25 and 30 which is considered to be "overweight" but paradoxically is associated with fewer health risks by medical professionals.

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What do you call a dog that acts like a cat, likes to pretend he's human, and whose name is "Moose"? A dog. His personality traits have no effect on the changing of his species.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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