what's the worst part about owning a prius? telling your parents you're gay

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theres no 'I' in 'team' but theres an 'I' in 'hitler'

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Why did the girl drop her ice cream? Because seeing as a bus was heading straight toward her, she quickly decided to sacrifice her frozen treat and dodge the oncoming vehicle in order to save her life.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

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What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea? It gets Wet.

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roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

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Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

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Hey you must be a parking ticket, because your yellow.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Jesus. Jesus who? You're going to hell.

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2 boys are going to get candy from the store. What happened? A robbery and they were killed

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I rode in to town on an ass... ur momas ass!!

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If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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What do you call Batman and Robin after they have been run over by a car? Dead.

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Two kids are playing basketball. One says to the other, "FAILMUFFIN!" The basketball flies out of bounds.

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Roses are red, Facebook is blue, we have mutual friends, and violets are blue and roses are red. FRIDGE

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So a guy walked into the doctors and said, "It hurts when I poke my leg like this." The doctor said, "Well don't poke your leg like that."

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You know what I am gonna come up with that could potentially make me millions of dollars? An idea that could potentially make me millions of dollars.

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Why did the girl eat a sandwich? because she was thirsty

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Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

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whats the difference between friends and cement? if you soak friends in liquid and then repeatadly shock them they will die

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This is the funniest joke in the world: Just joking!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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