what is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a cadilac. a cadilac is something i want

If you could eliminate one thing in your life, what would it be ? My ex.

What's worse than a bee sting? The holocaust What's worse then the holocaust? Two bee stings

What's red and smells like blue paint? Fetus Blood. Due to the low concentration of iron, it gives it an aroma of paint.

What do you call a chicken who crosses a road? Nothing, its still a chicken

an old lady walked into a bar, used the bathroom and left. THE END

OMG did you hear about the man who sky-dived from mars?!!!! No…. Me neither

What's red & is bad for your face? A brick.

How do you make your house smell bad? fart

Why didn't Santa deliver presents until the night after Christmas? You should go ask someone who knows.

What time is it when an elephant jumps over your fence? Actually, elephants don't jump.

The Israeli asked the Japanese guy to open his eyes The Japanese guy said, I'm not squinting you crazy Jew. You're the one that sold me these cheap glasses.

There were 2 strawberries sitting in a bathtub One strawberry said "Hey can you please pass the soap? The other strawberry replies "WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM A TYPEWRITER??"

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Nope! Chuck Testa.

Two elephants in a bathtub, one says, "Pass the soap." The other one says, "No soap. Radio?"

Where was the Decoration Of Independence Signed? At the bottom.

How is a raven like a writing desk? Both have absolutely nothing to do with the other one.

A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

why did the chicken cross the road? because chickens just walk places. they have no agenda.

Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

What happens when you throw a yellow rock into a purple river? it makes a splash

Did you hear about the young couple that confused K-Y jelly with window caulking? All their windows fell out.

Roses are red, violets are red, tulips are red, oh shit my gardens on fire!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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