- Anti Joke

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a pile of shit. I don't have a pile of shit in my garage.

Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

what do you call a man with a bullet hole in his leg? A man who needs t see a doctor.

Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

Hello! I am Harry Potter, and i will be teaching you pottery today! Yes, call me Mr. Pottery!

You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

A black, Kenyan man enters a race. He comes in second to last as he didn't practice as much as the other contestants.

A wise man once said a journey of a thousand steps starts with one step. The wise man also smoked weed and starved to death in a cave.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

A lion, a leopard, a sheep, and a flesh eating New Zealand parrot stalk, trot and fly, respectively, into a bar. The parrot lands on the the sheep's back and begins to tear into its flesh in order to reach the succulent deposits of fatty tissue located around the sheep's kidneys. "Ouch!" Said the sheep. "Why would you do that? Oh, the pain! The pain!" "Squak!", Replied the NZ parrot, wiping blood of its sharp, hooked beak on the counter. "I think," Began the lion, "This parrot from New Zealand is hungry for fat from a sheep's soft, woolly back." The sheep's wool was now damp with blood. "Perhaps this parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from its soft woolly back." "Ah!" Said the sheep. "This parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from my soft woolly back!" "Yes", Replied the lion. "You could also say..." Started the sheep, "That an NZ parro-" The sheep did not finish his sentence. He died from his wounds. The lion left. The parrot flew off to tear up some windshield wipers. And the leopard stashed the sheep carcass in a tree branch for later consumption.

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money, I forgot what happens right but it wasn't that funny anyway

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse stares eats an apple and trots out... Horses can't speak therefore do not understand the question and cannot reply

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Your momma's so fat she has a hard time finding clothes to fit

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt it got hit by a truck before it got to the other side.

Dries Roelvink walks into a bar...

Your mom is so stupid that her parents were probably ashamed of her low grades.

What's gay black & Jewish? The Ku Klux Klan

There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? ... To get to the bottom.

why does the room smell bad? because there's a dead body under the bed

rarw

I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.