How do you kill Justin Beiber? By stabbing him 38 times in the chest.

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Whats worse then dieing and going to hell? Waking up and going to school.

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Why was the man lying under a sheet. Because he was dead.

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Heard about the dyslexic fellow who sold his soul to Santa? That worked out OK, but Christmas was hell.

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knock knock who's there? me josh! come in.

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What's worse than losing the remote? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

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What do you call a white man without a face? Dead. What do you call a black man without a head? Negger.

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roses are red, violets are blue, Hitler killed 6.6 million jews.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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How do you make a baby stop crying?you scream at it and throw it at wall

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why did the little boy drop his ice cream cone? because he was hit by the planes that hit twin towers

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What's the difference between a black man and a bicycle? ( I don't know. ) You're so racist.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he wants to drink. He orders a beer.

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There's a donut on a cruise ship and he goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain goes "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and says "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain replies "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain says "NO!" and throws him over board Theres a couple on the cruise ship and the man was going to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and propose. So he was showing his bestfriend (who was also on the cruise ship) the ring. But was he pulled it out the wind picked up and the ring fell over board. So the man was forced to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and couldn't propose. So they go to dinner and the both get crab. And when they open up the crab and guess what's in the crab?! Not the ring the donut!!!

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This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

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what didn't I do when making this joke? Read and agree to the terms of service.

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How do you make a dentist cry? Kill all his family.

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Okay, this is a real joke: A guy slips on a banana and falls down in the most funny way ever, so a girl nearby starts laughing when she suddenly realizes the guy is bleeding profoundly, so she runs over to help, but it turns out the blood was just ketchup so... Just then they both got run over and killed by a car.

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Can you smell what the Rock is cooking? Yes, it's delicious!

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How do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? You don't, the giraffe is a savanah animals and there is no physical way for a giraffe to fit in a refridgerator.

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In Soviet Russia, this joke is an anti-joke.

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how did sally die? she starved because she cant get in to get the nuggets.

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Why did the small child cry? He was forced to dig his own grave at gunpoint.

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Knock knock "Honey, could you get the door?" "I'm tired of doing everything here! Get you ass up and do it yourself!" "Well why don't you just go back to bar you whore?" "This marriage was a mistake, I'm going back to mother!" They divorced 5 months later.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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