Roses are red, violets are red, tulips are red, oh shit my gardens on fire!!!

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks heavily and dies of alcohol poisoning.

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Whats black and white and red all over? Genital Warts...

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I man was taking a major shiit He forgot to wipe

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why did the boy drop his icecream?? he got hit by a bus

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A man stops another man on the street in Manhattan and asks "How do I get to Carnegie Hall ?" The other man gives him direction, including which subway stop to get off at.

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Why did George Bush climb the Statue of Liberty? I'm not sure, as this incident is not covered in any of the myriad books written about his administration.

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What did the blonde say when she saw a tan button on her calculator? That must mean tangent.

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Two guys walk into a bar, but the third guy is a duck.

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A man walks out of a bar. Gets in his car and crashes because drunk driving isn't safe.

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Who does creatine? James Cornish

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? You eat them.

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Are you thinking Arby's? No. My grandmother died of tuberculosis and it's troubling me.

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tea with milk?

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Why did the whale cross the road? He was being chased by the Japanese.

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what happened to the slut last time she opened her legs. a bee flew in and stung her. turned out she was deathly allergic. she died a painful death.

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What is terrible and doesn't exist? This joke's punchline,

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What was Hellen Keller's dogs name? dhfgbvskjne How did Hellen Keller's dog die? Natural causes.

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A black man and a white man enter a public toilet. They both begin to pee at the urinals. The whiteman peers over to the blackman mid-pee. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype and then blushes embarassed by his own latent homosexuality. They both leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep later that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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How can you know your roommate is gay? His dick has the taste of shit

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What do call a man with a daranged wife? Married

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, and they don't have to be blonde, anyone can screw in a light bulb.

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my boloney has a first name its OSCAR, my boloney has a last name its MEYER.. now bend over son while i shove my boloney in ur butt!

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What's worse than tripping over your shoelace? Watching your mother get her tits cut off with a chainsaw then getting ripped apart and eaten alive by cannibals

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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