What do a tree and I have in common? We would both be mad if we got turned into paper.

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How do you tell a bunch of Chinese people apart? Go up to each one and ask them their first and last names. The chances of any of them being the same is quite slim, giving each person their own identity.

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Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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An American, a Mexican, and a black guy all walked into the same bar. Why did the 'BEWARE OF METAL BAR' sign have to be in japanese?!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato.

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What did the orphan get for christmas? Cancer.

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knock knock. who's there? Kony. Kony who? Kony says:" Uganda be abducted"

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Your mom is so dirty, She smells.

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How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am colorblind because Iam a dog.

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Tyrone is innocent! I can't wait until Kirsty gets hers!

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Q. Why couldn't Billy see the pirate movie? A. Because his mom didn't let him.

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You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead

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A jewish man walks into a bar, has a drink, and goes home to his wife.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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What did the red apple say when it saw a black man an irish man, and an asian walk into a bar? nothing apples cant talk.

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why did the boy fall over? because he was hit by a fridge that fell out of the tree.

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Q: Why did Suzie fall out the swings? A: She had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.....

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Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

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Why was the boy crying? Because him and his sister were sent to an orphanage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops