If a train leaves Chicago at 50 miles per hour, how hard does the baby strapped to the tracks get splattered?

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What does china and an 80 year old body builder have in common? They're both asian. I forgot to mention that the body builder is japanese.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, my dick is hard, and it's cumming for you.

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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I ran out of anti-jokes. However, here's a cool math puzzle. 492 357 816 Using every number from 1-9, each row added up equals to 15, horizontally, vertically, and diagonally. Here's another cool word play TEA URN BAY Words horizontally are Tea, Urn, Bay Words vertically are Tub, Era, Any Words diagonally are Try, Bra

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"what did the priest say to the rabbi?" "what" "my religions better

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what do u call a Muslim flying a plane??? 9-11

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Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

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Every time I walk across the street I do the Hitler march and raise my arm straight out to salute him, if I feel like holding up traffic, I take smaller steps

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how many flys in a box six --sticksack

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What did the nazi say to the jew? Nothing, he shot 'em

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Have you heard of the dog that sounds like Megan fox? No Oh, well ummm apperantally there's this ummm dog that sounds like Megan fox. So ummm yeah. Pretty interesting stuff

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A muslim, a jew, and a black man jump off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? They all hit the ground at the same time because gravity pulls all objects at the same rate regardless of their mass.

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What did the platypus do whenever he walked into the bar? Nothing. It's a platypus, they don't do much.

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OMG my mom just let me go to a concert in feb 31,2012 wohoo! LOL

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Yo momma so hairy she needs to shave herself.

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What are the first three words in a Mexican Cook Book? Steal a chicken.

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Why do jews have large noses? Genetics.

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Why do women love Panera Bread? They think it's healthy.

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I Couldn't afford a hair cut... so i purpposely contracted HIV

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Whats fuzzy and pink? A pink fuzz ball

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What was the women doing out of the kitchen? Watching the movie 'Birth of a Nation' at her father's house

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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