your mom is so fat she is at high risk of a future heart attack and should be taken to a cardiologist

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And now a word from our sponsors

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Q. Why was little Timmy crying? A. Because his sister died of cancer.

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Why is the spine-tailed swift is the fastest bird? Because its faster than the second fastest bird

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Why is the boy home alone on Friday night? Because HItler took he's parents away.

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How many Russians can you fit in a Mini Cooper? It depends on how big they are.

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Why didn't the door open? Because it was locked

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Where do cows go to have fun? Cows don't have a concept of fun as such, but they would probably go to a large, sunny field full of lush, green grass with a bubbling river and plenty of shade.

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What shakes and twitches and can be found at the sea bottom? A scuba diver running out of oxygen.

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Why did the pig cross the road? To chase after his adopted chicken.

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the person who wrote 1 under me is gay

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar. A good time was had by all, until closing time.

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What did the black guy say to the other black guy? We are both black

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A deaf man is listening to the radio. Think about it.

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How do you keep black people out of your backyard. A no trespassing sign.

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Why did Jennifer shit herself? Because there was a black man staring through her window!

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whats the difference between blue and green? there different colours.

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Hey are you from tennessee? Because I recognize your accent and I grew up there also.

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Thanks, I admire your sincerity, and I am happy to see that I got a lot more in common with you, than with well, my nerdy and geeky friends, which are not reading this here and now unless they are going against their orders and messing up their own work schedule. I just want you to know that I have fallen in love with you Nero, and if that is a problem for you, please let me know ASAP.

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Suicide is never the answer. Unless you ask me what I contemplated after I found out that my family was killed in a horrific traffic accident.

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What do you call a kid with leukemia and no arms? Names.

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theres no 'I' in 'team' but theres an 'I' in 'hitler'

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Why was New Zealand attacked by Australia? New Zealand attacked Australia due to a teritorial dispute. The war lasted for 3 years with over 150000 deaths.

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Rain rain go away, and don't come back or else i will kill your family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops