Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

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What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

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What hurts more than a bee sting? Child birth.

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Violence is never the answer, its the question... The answer is YES!

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In a tangential universe Crispin Glover is the head of scientology

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what did the cat say to the potato? meow

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I needed to write an article about heart disease so I did some research. I learned a lot.

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What's the best way to get high without doing drugs? Jump.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You just lost the game UMAD Bro?

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What's better than winning a million dollars? Winning 2 million dollars!

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How do you make a white girl commit suicide? Bully her.

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Why did the gay guy walk into a straight bar To find the better looking guys

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What did John say to Paul before they entered the car? "Paul, get in the car."

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Where is boots, Dora asks Why the hell are you asking me when your the one who is with him.

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"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

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Knock Knock Whos there Cameron oh

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Why did 3 kids mom's die last year? Because they were depressed and committed suicide.

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Why shouldn't you download music? Various reasons.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

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Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

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Why did god make women? Because women are equally important when it comes to the birth to maintain or species.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? EMS - your pregnant wife died it a car crash

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What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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