Two Christians are on their way to church. They stay for prayers and have a lovely lunch.

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A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Becuase the farmer has recently gone blind due to old age and he acidently left the gate opened and the chicken happened to walk out

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the elephant asks the man, " how do u breathe out of that thing?" the man proceeds to explain to the elephant how he breathes out of his nose.

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whats a joke... Parker Coffey at life

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knowone loved me why???????????????????????? because they were so damm ugly

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A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.

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I like my wine like I like my children... Eight years old and locked in a cellar

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Why did the little girl run to her mother? Because she saw a police inspector, who had already tried to kill her several times that week, aiming a poison dart at her forehead.

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A blind man walk in to a bar... He then yells a 4 letter explative, backs up, and walks around it.

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What do you call the offspring of an elephant? A baby elephant.

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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The awkward moment when Delilah got hit by a bus.

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Q: Whats the deifference between me and you A: The fact that im the beautiful one -RDV

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What's worser than dieing? Living-being tortured while at it too

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Two elephants were in a bathtub. One elephant asks the other "pass the soap?" The other elephant passes him the soap and they continue with their bath.

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Roses are blurry so is everything else I need glasses

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A: Do you like it B: No

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what is the differance between a toyata and a van full of dead babies I dont own a toyata

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 7 ate 9!

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Two bees are flying around a flower. "Hey," says one bee, "you ever think about the meaning of all of this? I mean, isn't there more to life than pollinating and satisfying the Queen?" The other bee replies, "No."

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A praying mantis is very graceful

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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