If polar bears were pink they'd be very easy to find

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Study from real life: My trip to Texas. (From the time when I was interested in mormon-ism.) Texan: And here is my gun collection, great for shootin yer Mexican scum. Me: Uh I am Norwegian but my ancestors where Russian or something so my skin is... Texan: *points gun at me and pushes trigger halfways* Just kidding der son, sure you aint no Mexican though? Okay just checkin ya know... Me *sweating bullets* Texan guys gun go off almost hitting me and breaking a vase.. Conclusion: He blamed me, everyone had lunch outside later, everyone kept looking at the "trigger happy MEXICAN"... Nero: By then I began grasping the fact that I was better suited for the study of the dark arts... And also learned that in Mormonism, Heaven and Hell are planets locked into war, where black people where neutral, and red people are demon supporters, but WE CAN ALL BE SAVED BY BECOMING WHITE! JUST LIKE THE ANGEL MORONI! Conclusion two: Moroni... Lol.

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What's the difference between an Asian bookkeeper and a Jewish dog? This isn't a joke, it's an assignment for school, I need to write a 3 page paper on this. Any ideas?

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What happens when you cross a porcupine, a beaver, a duck, a go-cart, a dinosaur, a star, a cheap "Big 'n Beey" bathroom, and the cookie monster? Justin Bieber. XD

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What has 389,236,587 arms, has rainbow colored fur, and fornicates on your front lawn? Absolutely nothing. That's pretty much physically impossible.

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A cow and a goat are at the top of a hill. The cow starts to eat the grass, and the goat says, "Hey! That's mine!"

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What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? ProtestS from Anti GM activists.

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Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? She's dead.

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I have alzheimers and one day me and my nephew were............................

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If pro is the opposite of con what's the opposite of progress? Retrogression.

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Why did Sally cross the road? Because she fell off a tree. Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally wanted to cross the road.

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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autistic kids rock

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Have you see stevie wonders house? No. Neither has he.

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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What did the child say to the clown? For a professional entertainer, you're not that funny.

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Why couldn't Billy eat his dinner? Because a black man amputated his hands.

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What do you get from M&M bags? M&Ms.

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What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? A holocaust in which all the Jews are raped by giant scorpions, and then killed.

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whats worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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How many Italians does it take to change a light bulb....... 1

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What's worse then getting followed by a creepy man in a van? Getting followed and raped by a creepy man in a van.

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The global news

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your momma's so ugly that she currently deals with an overwhelmingly self consciousness view of her appearance to the point where she has contemplated suicide and it is in your best interest to seek her medical help in order to preserve her heath and overall well being.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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