Why did the man lose the a race? 'Cause he has no legs

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What did the man say to his friend? Hello.

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what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

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Why did Sam have no friends? He was dead.

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what does the doctor do when he tells you you have aids? he laughs and says "hahahahahhaha sucks for you, i dont!"

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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What's blue, orange, and silver all over? Nothing. That's a ridiculous combination of colors.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gait open.

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Why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? Because bungee jumping is a great activity to relieve stress.

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Why wasn't the boy at school? Obviously it was the weekend.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i get tired of this shit let's have some grey goose

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what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

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What's green and red? A frog in a blender

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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There's a black man in my family tree. Therefore, I could be considered biracial.

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Q: Why was the mexican mowing the lawn? A: Because the grass was too tall

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Iceland is actually green and Greenland is actually icy and Germany started the Holocaust.

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What do you call a deer in the wild? a deer

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Why can't hank swim? Hank is a rock.

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No your aunties a joke

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he was eaten alive!!!

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what do you get when you combine sodium and hydroxide? sodium-hydroxide

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Irune. Irune who? Irune my life with all this red sand.

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my basement.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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