Jerry: Hi what's your name? Bob: My name is bob. Jerry: Bob, nice to meet you, my name is Jerry. Bob: Nice to meet you Jerry.

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What were the murderer's last words before he was put to death by electric chair? "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NNNNNFHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.................................................................................................................." He then defecated in his pants.

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Who wins the battle of climbing a fence, the Mexican Man or the Black Man? The Mexican Man, the Black Man is still hanging from the tree.

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Hay is for horses and other hay consuming mammals.

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Q: Why God never got a PhD? A: 1. He had only one major publication. 2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English. 3. It has no references. 4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal. 5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself. 6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then? 7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited. 8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results. 9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing. 10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects. 11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample. 12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book. 13. Some say he had his son to teach the class. 14. He expelled his first two students for learning. 15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests. 16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

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A black guy walks into a bar with a dog. He is asked to leave because his dog is not on a lead.

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I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

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whats worse than failing your maths test?

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what's worse than getting hit by a car? getting hit by a truck

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What's the difference between apples and oranges? You can't wash a window with a spade.

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What did the spoon say to the other spoon? Nothing, it is a spoon.

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why didnt jane scream when she got robbed? Because she got shot.

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A man dies from a cat attack. he goes up to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter asks him, " how did you die sir?" The man doesn't reply so Peter says, "cat got your tongue?" "No," he says, "cat got my throat!"

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What's long hard and black A drain pipe

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I took my sick iguana to the Vet. He said why did you bring him to me, a former soldier?

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What did the resently released criminal get for his birthday? a nice sweater

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daffodils are yellow, Flowers come in lots of colours...

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Yo mama's so gay, she's a guy.

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What's blue and looks like water? Yes.

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Why was the cat meowing at the chicken? Because Sally got hit by a fridge.

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What is the difference between the sky and the ocean? They're both blue.

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Where do babies come from? You fathers penis.

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Why was the boy sad? His parents died in a horrible accient earlier that day.

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What's 2+2? Fish

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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