An elderly lady walks into a grocery store, and nothing of a great significance happens.

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What's hard when you eat a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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A blond, a brunet, and a red head jumped off a bridge. Which one hit the ground first? In order to solve this problem you would first need to figure out witch of the three had more of a body mass. Then you would need to calculate the accretion in case one brought along a cow. However, in the end the outcome is always the same: 3 dead bodies on impact and 3 mourning families.

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You see that dog over there with no tail? You know what that means, don't you? What? Someone cut it off.

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Jerry: Hi what's your name? Bob: My name is bob. Jerry: Bob, nice to meet you, my name is Jerry. Bob: Nice to meet you Jerry.

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

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A brunette, a redhead, and a blond are all stuck on an island 100 miles away from the nearest civilization with no resources. After 2 weeks, they decide that no one is going to save them and they have to swim for it. The brunette swims 25 miles and then gets eaten by sharks. The redhead swims 75 miles and then drowns. The blond swims 99 miles but got tired, so she swam back.

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.why did 6 hate 7 and 8? because they were blocking her from 9!

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\ \ \\ \\ >\/ 7 _.-(6' \ (=__._/` \ ) \ | / / | / > / j < _\ _.-' : ``. \ r=._\ `. \ > ,.-' >.'

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What was the baker a coward? He didn't have the "Bunz" to prove it!

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how do u make a snooker table laugh? TICKLE ITS BALLS HAHA

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Jack wasn't nimble. Jack wasn't quick. Jack sat on the candle and burned his corduroys.

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How to stop a baby from crying? Hit it with a brick

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There was a man that Invited Bruce Wayne, Superman, Peter Parker, Batman, Clark Kent and Peter Parker to his party He was really sad when he heard only half of them could attend...

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Whats the difference between a watermelon and babies I don't have a pile of dead watermelon in my basement

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There were three elephants in a bathtub. One said, "Pass me the soap." The other one said, "What do you think I am? A Radio???"

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Once upon a time, there were two brothers jumping on a bed. The one stopped because the other fell off the bead and died.

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What is invisible and smells like rabbits? Bunny farts.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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Why was the old man climbing the flag pole? Because he had Alzheimer, and he was losing his grasp of reality.

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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What's the difference between Little Billy and Ice Cream? People like Ice Cream.

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what happens if you drop a spoon? it sounds a lot, and it's annoying

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theres no 'I' in 'team' but theres an 'I' in 'hitler'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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