Q: How pregnancy test is performed in Somalia?! A: Shove a piece of bread between the legs of the women and if the bread is bitten when you take it out, she is pregnant!

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What do you call a black man holding a stone with bloody hands A hard working stone mason

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I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

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Your mama's so fat.... Her cerial bowl came with a lifeguard

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What did the terrorist get for Christmas? A bullet in his head.

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Why are Pirates called Pirates? Because the word originates from the term Pirata which means 'sea attacker' in Latin.

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What is funnier than 24? If you think numbers are funny then you could have a mental illness and that isn't quite funny.

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I once saw a fat child eating a sandwich. I wondered what was inside.

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How do you get a mexican to do the yard work faster? Offer him a 5% bonus.

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Roses are red violets are blue i have HIV you should probably get yourself checked...

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why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

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Engage in a lively debate with a friend, and when they are about to stump you, respond to whatever they say next with "What does that have to do with the price of tea in China?"

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Why didn't the man get into Harvard? Because he had bad grades

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why don't bears wear shoes? because they have bear feet

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taking out the trash... at night

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A man walks into a bar, politely orders one drink, sips it while having social conversations with his peers, pays his tab, and goes to take the bus home. I can respect that.

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whats worse than having ice cream and not eating it? Being lactose intolerant

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jim. Oh, come in Jim!

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Then I contracted bronchitis from the smoke. Unfortunately I don't not have time to visit a doctor to mend this debilitation. In fact, nobody does.

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Have you heard the one about the Priest, the Pastor, and the Mail Man? -no, how's that go? Oh you haven't? That's too bad, it's really good.

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How do you have sex with 9 giraffes? you don't because that's weird

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PATIENT: Doctor, doctor, I can't see my legs DOCTOR: That's because you're blind

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What's wore then finding a worm in your apple? Being the only person to survive a plane crash over Alaska, then having to eat your family in order to stay alive waiting for help to come.

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what did the apple say to the orange, nothing fruits can't talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops