"I'm so hungry!" "Hello so hungry, I am Matt. You must come from a very odd family if your name is " so hungry"!

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A women answers the phone. -"Hello?" -"Yes, hi, have I reached the Smiths?" -"No, you've reached the wrong number" The two women hand up, and continue with their lives.

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

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Chose to describe yourself: Green thumb: Tall wealthy, good looking, intelligent man with a model wife, a ferrari expensivo, a hotel just for yourself. Red thumb: A below average piece of shit? Green thumb? Dont lie to me you piece of sh*t!

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What did the woman say to her abusive husband? You're hurting me.

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knock knock who's there? the paperboy the paperboy who? i lied, i'm a serial rapist, you should have looked through the peephole

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

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A drunk man into a bar. He is ripping apart a family

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"It smells like up dog in here." "What's up dog?" "Not much, what's up with you?"

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chuck norris was shot yesterday... tomorrow is the bullets funeral.

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sky silverstein

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An overweight person falls down the stairs.. They had to be taken to A&E as they suffered very serious injuries.

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Guy gets new car. TRANFORMER!

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. To get to the other side.

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How many electricians does it take to screw on a light bulb? 1

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why did everyone laugh at the kid in the wheel chair as he entered the room? he was poor

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Why is it unpleasant to eat a meal with lots of basketball players? Because they will be focussing entirely on discussing tactics (especially if there is an upcoming game), and therefore will probably not be displaying good manners or making polite mealtime conversation.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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Where did Sudie go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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roses are red violets are red the whole world is red i started the holocaust

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-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not to a blind guy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops