When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

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A Black man, a Latino, and a Midget get into a car. They drive to the county fair, get snow cones and ride the tilt-a-whirl.

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Q: What is usually black , is a rectangle and has two circles? A: An i pod touch 4

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There is a hawk and a squirrel sitting in a tree. a farmer walks by with a strange package so the hawk turns to the squirrel and says nothing because he is an animal and incapable of speech, he then eats the squirrel because he is a bird of prey.

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What do you call a white guy in a mostly black neighborhood? His name.

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What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

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Why did the fat ugly bald Jewish man go to the bank? He needed to take out some cash because he was going out for lunch at a highly recommended restaurant.

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What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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I did it. the Bulls fan Took a few hours on Microsoft word. then I copy and pasted it on this!

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What did the mental patient say to the apple? She didn't say anything because she was a catatonic schizophrenic.

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Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

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What did the jewish man say to the Irish guy at the bar? Are you Irish?

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When the world ends what would be the death toll It would be unknown since every one would be around to calculate it

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Why did the man leave anti-joke.com? Because he realized that it was time for dinner and the ham was burning.

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Q: What's purple and eats desks. A: My dog.

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What is the difference?

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Yo mama so fat she makes blind kids cry

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why are there so many peadofiles in the world? sexy kids.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What did the man with no head say to the women?

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A black man walks into a KFC, he then realizes that he is in the wrong store, and walks out.

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A women answers the phone. -"Hello?" -"Yes, hi, have I reached the Smiths?" -"No, you've reached the wrong number" The two women hand up, and continue with their lives.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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