What's the difference between a fat person and a whale? The quality of the fat. -Japan

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A kid asks his mom: "Mom, what would I be when I grow up?" And so his mother answers: "You won't grow up, you have cancer"

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How do you kill a priest? Shoot him in the forehead.

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Roses are red, lemons are sour, open your legs and give me an hour.

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Why weren't u sad when your sister died? You lived in a hut and were supplied with food for a week

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Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender? A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car 2 hours later your brother finds you and told you that him and your wife have been cheating on you and your kid is his.

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Roses are red, Wait. Why start this poem when you cant finish it Refrigerator

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How do you put in a lightbulb? Call your local electrition

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What's the best part of the 1980s? They're over.

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Why did the communist fail his history class? Because he didn't study hard enough.

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A man walks into a bar. And has a beer.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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"It smells like up dog in here." "What's up dog?" "Not much, what's up with you?"

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What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tragedy.

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Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

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How many pupils does the teacher have? 2.

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Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

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When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

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Who is Dank? A: Billal

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yo mama so dumb... because she was not properly educated

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So a man and his wife were in a horrible car accident. The man died, so why isn't the wife mourning his death? Because she is also dead. But, do you know who did mourn and cry over this horrible tragedy? Their children, other family members, and friends.

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Knock Knock. who's there? James. well use the doorbell.

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Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

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Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and a Lepricon were driving 100 MPH towards a brick wall and crash into it. Who survived? No one, they all died due to the rate of velocity that the car was traveling at.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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