What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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I do like haikus even when they are random refrigerator

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Why is the alien dead as a door-nail? Because the door-nail was never alive nor could it ever be dead therefore the alien must have never existed just like the life and death of the door-nail.

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Apple hates Blackberry.

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What did the black man say when he jumped in the pool? The water's nice, you should join me.

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what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

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Q: What would Martin Luther King Jr. be if he was white? A: Alive

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What did Steven Hawking get for christmas? A bike.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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A man walks into a bar. After recovering, he sues the bar for it's irregular glass doors.

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My diick won't stop barking unless I take it for a walk, problem is, I can't find a leash big enough

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What do you get when you hit a kid with a hockeystick? arrested.

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what did hitler say when the allies invaded germany i did NAZI that coming

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What did the duck say to the Pope? Quack.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one turns to the second, and says nothing, because muffins can't talk. They then both die because the temperature in the oven was 370 degrees.

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What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

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What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

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What's the difference between a baby and my trampoline? I take my boots off before i jump on my trampoline. . .

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What's large, black and can be found in Australia? A large black Australian man.

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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Man U

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was blind.

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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