if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 10 dollars you would have 5 dollars more than Chuck Norris

Why did Anna fall off her bike? She had no arms. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Anna.

What did God say to Abraham? Nothing, because God doesn't exist.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

The boy said to the priest, may God be with you. The priest responded with, "And also IN you".

What happened to the black guy who got pulled over by the cops? He was told that his left tail light was out

who lives a pineapple under the sea? a proper spazztwat.

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

Ask me for £1000 Can I have £1000 No get a job

So i know this guy... yes? thats it.

How does a person with Alzheimers' poem go? Roses are red, Roses are red, Roses are red, Wait, what was I doing?

What do you call a group of white males wearing hoods and setting fires? Cold

why are there so many peadofiles in the world? sexy kids.

I LOVE MASTURBAITING ALL DAY!!!!

What's wore then finding a worm in your apple? Being the only person to survive a plane crash over Alaska, then having to eat your family in order to stay alive waiting for help to come.

How long does it take for britney spears to change a light bulb? Fish can not leave the water without dieing.

what do you get when you combine sodium and hydroxide? sodium-hydroxide

Q:Why is the WMBA so unsuccessful? A:Barely anyone watches it

What's black, white, and red all over? Numerous different objects because many different things can posses a variety of colors, including the ones listed above.

2 wales are at the bar one looks at the other and dose a wale call for 5 long minutes and the other one reply's "dude your drunk we got to go"

Guess what your birth certificate really is. An apology letter from the condom factory.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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