Why did the accident happen? The breaks on the car stopped working. Why did the breaks stop working? The driver was drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What did the doctor say to his patient? You have stage IV Ovarian Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What did Tarzan say when the elephants came over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why was the man in a great deal of pain? Because he was hit in the face with a sack of potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I f**ked your mom last night. Will you marry me?

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall Humpty Dumpty is an egg so nobody cares

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How do you stop a bus from hitting you?? You throw small children to impede the progress of the bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did Justin Bieber wake up Lady Gaga? He needed to ask her a question.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

HOLY COW!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god."

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Did you hear about the guy who had his head chopped off? He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Q. What do you do when you cross an elephant, and a soccer ball. A. That would never happen.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

The declaration of Independence was singed in? Pen.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Do you know whats a joke? Something said or done to evoke laughter or amusement, especially an amusing story with a punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

There once was a man from Nantucket.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What do you call a black man on the moon An astronaut

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What's black and crunchy? CO-Co PUFFS

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Obama being re-elected

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Roses are blurred Violets too I have astigmatism I cant see shit

thumb_up thumb_down -36

More mindfuck: Your school is betraying you edition. How are you going to feel good about yourself, if you have to UNDER STAND everything you learn? Moral: If you dont get it, you are not ready.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What is the opposite of pro? Con right? So what's the opposite of progress? Congress

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why did the Democrat cross the road? Because the glorious leader ordered it for all minions

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops