How many babies does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them

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What do you call a black person who has fallen? an ambulance

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Huh? Whats wrong? Why are you mad at me for? Its my name, it has always been so.

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I've got some good news an some bad news. The good new is that you just won 10 million dollars! The bad news is I'm just kidding.

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Whats the differnce between love and herpies Herpies last forever

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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Why did the young boy hit the other young boy? Because the other young boy was bullying his friend and he thought it was time he should stand up for himself and take control of the situation.

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whats big and white and falls from the sky\ Refrigerator

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My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

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Well You're Full Of It . -Full Of What ? Well , Probably Blood And Other Organs You Can't Live Without . .

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Why did the man kill himself? Because he had a gun

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Why was Cathy sad. Her husband Drew was killed by a land mine on a peace keeping mission to Iraq.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?' The horse say " i have testicular cancer."

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how do you kill justin bieber? put a bag over his head and suffercate him.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Why did the plane crash The pilot, being an uneducated pilot, crashed the plane as he didn't have proper training, and the whole of the passengers died.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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A man goes to the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have some bad news, and some worse news. The bad news is you have alzheimer's. The worse news is you have cancer." The man breaks down in tears.

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Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

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Why couldn't Cait walk her dog? She's been paralyzed from the waist down since she was 5 after her and her parents got into a car accident and her parents died.

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What do apples and black men both have in common? They are both people except for the apple

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A man walked into a house, He never came back out as he fell down the stairs and snapped his neck, His family mourn him everyday.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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