What's Green and has Wheels? Ian Leighton... I LIED ABOUT THE GREEN

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What do you call a fat black guy in KFC? A guy who likes KFC.

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A man walks into a bar, He is a severe alcoholic and is slowly drowning himself in booze. The man exits the bar after several hours of heavy drinking and walks home. He enters his home to discover a man in bed with his wife. After the first ten seconds of paralyzing rage, he grabs a .44 Magnum and brutally murders his wife and her bed mate. The man realizes he has woken up his two month old, and after thinking of the horrible act he has committed, he promptly raises the pistol to his temple and pulls the trigger. Oh, I almost forgot, the man was schizophrenic and has never been married.

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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What did the asian kid do before he got a blood test? He studied.

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What is black and hangs on a rope next to a rebel flag in my back yard? A tire swing for my redneck kids to swing on.

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A black man walks into a KFC. He buys a bucket of chicken, then distributes it to several homeless men he supports off of his meager income because he knows their situations are much worse than his.

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I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

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Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

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How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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what does the sloth say to Jonah reincastle? nothing Jonah is the sloth

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What is not funny Bad jokes!????

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2 sheeps are outside having a great time One sheep walks up to the other sheep and says: hello The other sheep says: hello Now what I want to know: what ally do you get your drugs from

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A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

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Red are roses Blue are violets Dyslexic am I.

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Your mother is so fat.

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why did the cow cross the road because he wanted to go to the mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove

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Q. What goes 100 mph and is green? A. A frog in a blender

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A white guy a black guy and a mexican are in a car and the car crashes and blowes up who dies? They all die cuz they all were in the car when it blew up

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Roses are Dead, Voilets are, too Now shut up and say nothing Because we're watching you

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A horse walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything or say anything because it is a horse. It proceeds to walk around and knock over a few tables before finding the door.

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Why do dragons shoot fire? I don't know, I'm asking you the question.

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Why did the cat cross the street? It didn't. I cut off its arms and legs so it couldn't walk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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