A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A- a tv

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Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

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What did the man say when he lost his car? Where the fuck did my car go

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hey hey hey wanna hear a joke.....................................MENS IQ!!!!!!

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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In Soviet Russia, blonde is smart

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Did you hear phonsi was Gay? I just found out too, he walked into the diner and said, "ive got AAIIIIIDS."

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Why didn't Clemson accept John Burns' college application? Because John Burns was wanted for five counts of first degree murder.

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Your mommas so stupid she put a quarter into a parking meter and waited for a gumball to drop out.

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A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

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How do you get 100 Jews into a Volkswagon? You don't. It's impossible to fit that many people into a car that small.

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Why 't the blonde dial 911? Because phones haven't had dials on them for at least 40 years or so. She can however punch it in on her keypad.

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one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

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It's raining, its pouring, the old man is snoring. He bumps his head, and is quickly rushed to the ER for serious head trauma

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Skeletons can't move.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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2 bald men are standing on an oval, one turns to the other and says "leukemia."

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Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

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how much kush does it take to get kushagra high

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Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

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Steve asks Dave if he likes fish sticks. Dave says yes. Steve asks Dave if he likes to put fish sticks in his mouth. Dave says yes again. They both agree to buy some, prepare them, and eat them, as fish stick are tasty, convenient, and mildly nutritious.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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