how do you kill justin bieber? put a bag over his head and suffercate him.

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How many pastry chefs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. It's a fairly simple job.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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Theres two things i hate in this world... racists . . . and black people

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Why are there only 50 states in the U.S.A The US gives territories a chance to vote if they want to be states in the US.

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Why couldn't little sally swim? Because she had weights on her ankles.

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What's the difference in a big brother and a wee brother? Ones big, ones small.

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a burglar walks in a house the alarm goes off and the police come

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What is the difference between a duck? A motorcycle because vests don't have sleeves.

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What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

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Q: Why did the black man drown? A: Because he couldn't swim.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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What did the therapist say to the other therapist? Your skin looks dry, let me lend you some ointment.

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Q. why did the girl fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms.

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A man realizes the whole time he has wanted to fly like a bird. His funeral was two weeks later

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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What's worse than being short? Being a Tutsi in 1994.

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What is blue and has blue shoes? A blue shoe box

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A black man and a white man were on an island. They lived in England.

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile? "Robin, get in the batmobile!"

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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Whats funnier than a massacre? Everything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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