Is it considered sexual harassment if a midget says to a woman, "your hair smells nice"? Holy crap i don't like black people.

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How do you stop a man from jumping off a building? Push him off a building.

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Why hasn't little Johnny ever had a clown at his birthday party? Johnny is an underprivileged Hispanic member of the community.

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when the zombie apocolypse comes what do you do? you die

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jack. Honey, Jacks here, will you get the door?

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why did the bus roll down the hill? Children were playing in the street.

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Regarding the "I will violate you, your children and your parent if you thumb me red" comment belo. I had a green thumb, I know because I gave it to myself because I am awesome... Now I got none... I person that this this, I cannot wait to X-mas where I will be violating them all, tell them, and as thus remind you that this was their Christmas present from you... Your friendly r*pist neighborhood Moral Man: Yes, I am your neigbor... I cant wait for slot number 24 on my christmas calendar... There is a picture of you and your family... Yummy!

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mohammed ali walks into a bar, gets a drink, signs a few autographs , and a good time is enjoyed by all.

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What did the woman with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A diagnosis.

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Why did the kid poop his pants? He was a baby

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Call me for a good time! 402-805-2412, I do anal!;) -Martini Wyant

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why did the kid stop eating his breakfast...two Penn state officials knocked at the door

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Nero? You are alive? Holy shit! You are like so my hero! I love you man! I was so saddened to hear you where tortured and killed, but then I read about this "Axel Knight" and hoped it was you, it sure sounded like you! Please tell me its no joke, you are a hero around these parts, and we really miss you, honestly sir, is it true point zero has become some sort of utopia or are the painkillers making you a bit Hazy? I am Erica by the way, still with the order, but what is this about your empire?

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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how do fit 104 jews in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 100 in the ash tray.

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Why did it take the rabbit so long to enter the rabbithole? Because he was hit by a truck and lost a lot of blood.

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What makes Amish bread different than regular bread? It's made by Amish people

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Why did the baby cry? Because he fell off a refrigerator.

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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2 muffins are in a oven for 30 minutes, the baker then questions why he only baked 2 muffins.

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Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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How did the blonde die? She got swallowed whole by a 1,000-foot scorpion.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the turkey was in the oven and all the farm animals thought the chicken could run the errands in his place just fine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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