So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

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What do you do if your batteries die and you have none left? Go to your nearest battery selling retail store and buy some more.

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What do you call a white guy in a mostly black neighborhood? His name.

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What is worse than being killed in a car crash? Having your girlfriend in the car with you.

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What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

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What do you call a white man sitting between two black men on a bus? A group of three people having a friendly conversation about the upcoming football season.

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a gardener

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roses are blue violets are red crap i screwed up dont judge me

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Theaters say silence is golden... Trap silence in a jar, make millions.

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WHat is funnier than a baby swimming. - A baby drowing.!

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I do like haikus even when they are random refrigerator

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Why did the black man get laid off? His company was no longer doing well and he was not needed.

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why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a rapist

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What's funnier than ten dead babies nailed to one tree? Nothing, infant mortality is not a laughing matter.

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A man walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian quickly picks out such a book and hands it to him, because to deny him the book would break the conventions of a library.

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How do you make an ugly person not ugly? Put a bag over their head. With,, a smiley face.

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Why couldn't the old man see? He was deaf

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What do you call a group of Mexicans jumping over a fence? I heat of runners trying out for the Mexican Olympic hurdle team.

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What do you call a murderer who killed a black man. kkk

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Why is Osama dead? He got shot.

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How did the black guy swim across the Atlantic? He didn't. He was prepared to, but then went on Expedia and found a ticket with Continental Airlines that was in his budget. He did not like the amount of service he recieved, and decided in the future he will save up and fly with a different company, or in fact swim across.

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Why did Batman brush his teeth? So he wouldn't get bat breath

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How do you make a dead baby float? Two scoops of vanilla ice cream and two scoops of dead baby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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