why does the man appear fat he is

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Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

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Why did the guy lose the race? Because he had explosive diarrhea

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Jim: You wanna hear a funny joke? Tim: Sure Jim: Well, if you want a funny joke, this isn't the place to be.

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What's another word for Manslaughter? My new Hobby

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Want to hear a joke? No.

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What do you get when you cross a gay man with a chainsaw? A decapitated homosexual.

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Once a upon a time there was a boy whom likes cheese. The boy: I like Cheese and thats the end of the story

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What time is it? If I hadn't poked your eyes out, you might know.

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How do you make a mailman cry? Kill his family.

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Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies in a truck? A: A pile of dead babies in a truck with one alive in the middle eating his way out.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two but I don't know how they got in there.

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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Why did bethany fall off the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Bethany

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Person 1 - Did you know there is only evidents of killer whales killing in captivity Person 2 - tell that to my uncle Pete... He's deaf

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How come the man could read the directions? Because it was right side up.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

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What's wore then finding a worm in your apple? Being the only person to survive a plane crash over Alaska, then having to eat your family in order to stay alive waiting for help to come.

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there's a worm in my lime at least it doesn't have scurvy

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Yo mamma is so dumb, she bought a Wii and was satisfied with her purchase

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What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

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What's straight and famous. Ryan Secrest I was just kidding about the stright

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops