on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

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Whats worse than getting a splinter? Taking a shower at penn state

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knock knock who's there? the paperboy the paperboy who? i lied, i'm a serial rapist, you should have looked through the peephole

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A dog with toothpaste in it's mouth wanders into a bar. The bartender beats it to death, because he thought it had rabies.

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What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Getting raped by a hose

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What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies.

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

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I like my women like bacon. Greasy and full of wrinkels

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Think of the worst thing you know of and add dead babies

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What happens when you Shoot a guy with a red Shirt On? He Dies.

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone...

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why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

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A guy walks into a bar and falls.

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Why couldnt hellen keller drive because she was a women

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What is the defference between Obama and an American? Obama doesn't have a birth certificate.

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Why was the blonde walking funny? She had a ten foot long metal bar shoved up her butt, and it was very painful to walk.

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What do Jews and gays have in common? They both would have been killed during the Holocaust.

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The man who invented the teleprompter has died at the age of 91. When President Obama heard the news, he was speechless.

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Cole likes to trim jaycie's butt pubes

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Ebola, You're going to die.

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Why did the retarded guy follow the 7 year old? Because he's a stalker.

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April showers bring... tornadoes that kill families

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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