What did the award-winning physicist say to the community college graduate? I'll have Chicken McNuggets please.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a kid that hasnt passes 7th grade? A 6th grader

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between tires and a black guy? Tires don't scream once there are chains around them. ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -11

yo mama is so fat, she's obeise

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats Big, Brown, and smells like Horse Crap? Horse Crap

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the black man say to the jew at a party Well hello i don't believe we met.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock Knock. Shut up.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the waffle say when the black guy started eating him? Nothing, because waffles are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Kids, your mother and I thought we should tell you this now... You know our dog sparky? Well he... was actually Osama bin Laden and is now dead!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worse than finding your whole family dead? Nothing. Finding your family dead is terrible.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: When did the man realize it was 5:00am? A: When it became 5:00am.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: Why God never got a PhD? A: 1. He had only one major publication. 2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English. 3. It has no references. 4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal. 5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself. 6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then? 7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited. 8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results. 9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing. 10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects. 11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample. 12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book. 13. Some say he had his son to teach the class. 14. He expelled his first two students for learning. 15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests. 16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What were the murderer's last words before he was put to death by electric chair? "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NNNNNFHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.................................................................................................................." He then defecated in his pants.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How was Charles Manson able to get women to kill for him? Because he was charismatic and intelligent.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road??? Suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A bar walks into a man and the man walks into a watermelon then the watermelon walks into a black guy then the black guy walks into a piece of fried chicken then the piece of fried chicken walks into a hotdog then the hotdog walks into a wall then the wall walks into a horse then the horse walks into a jar of mayonaise then the jar of mayonaise walks into a can then the can walks into the bar

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: pete and re-pete were on a boat, pete fell off. who was left? A: i dont know, but why did pete fall off in the first place, that dumb ass

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I've lost my tractor!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

3 black guys walk into a restaurant and they sat down, ate their meals, and even tipped the waitor handsomely then for about 10 minutes they talk and then leave restaurant. Soon after a white guy comes and holds up the place for all it's money then killing three hostages before being taken down by the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you say to seduce a woman? Is that a mustache? WTF!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the black man say to the watermelon? Watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops