Why do bears go to school on Sunday's? They don't, bears don't go to school.

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What do you get when a person and a cat try to have a child of some sort? Nothing because there chromosomes don't match, and there for physically impossible.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's

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What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

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What did the broom say to the vacuum cleaner? "Your mom sucks."

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Why did the wolf cry boy? Cause he was a pedifile.

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Green paint.

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Robocop The Reboot reboot. Watch as The friendly robot named Murphy, is violently broken down by a horrible shower of water, the only means to save him is to transfer his data into a human. He awakens again as Robofriendlydude (starring Adam Sandler) as a robot learns to love, learns to share, learns to dance with children in this years Reboot of the classic love comedy Robocop. PG-3 "So good I could only watch five seconds of it" Rotten potatoes. 99 percent fresh. "Kill me with a chainsaw" Honest reviews. "AWESOME!" Dishonest reviews "Makes Twilight seem like the better lovestory" Everyone.

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What did the woman say to her abusive husband? You're hurting me.

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Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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What did the strawberry say to the grape? Nothing, inanimate objects can't use verbal communication.

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what's an advantage of breaking every bone in your body? nothing, you're screwed.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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a gay man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out for trying to seduce men.

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Q: What did little Jimmy get his grandfather for Christmas? A: Nothing his grandfather died on Thanksgiving

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So a girl says "I want to be a banana when I grow up". She's set unrealistic goals and her parents fear she may be autistic.

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Something other than a Human Being walks into a bar. The bartender then makes a rational decision about how to handle the situation.

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Q: Where's the cheese? Who ate the cheese? A: How do you know it's been eaten because it's gone? Are you making the assumption that food that has disappeared was eaten because that is usually how food disappears? I am filing a lawsuit against you for your malevolent foodism.

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Why shouldn't you tell a joke during an earthquake. Cause it is not the time nor the place to tell a joke

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the p is silent!

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What is a pirate's favorite movie? A pirated movie.

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Why did the 60 y/o man take erectile dysfunction pills? His doctor prescribed them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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