How do you make a twelve year old girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear.

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Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

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What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

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Yo mamma's so stupid she failed the SAT.

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Emily Walker.

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A white man, a black man, and a brown man are all in an elevator. The white man laughs "this is like the start to a racist joke or something." The other two men strangle him because he is white.

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What do you call a mexican man with a rubber toe? Ruberto.

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james hedge is gay did you know if you look at him you turn gay

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So, why won't the blonde date the Asian guy? Because she's afraid of commitment.

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What do you call an apple, an orange, and a pear in a bowl? Fruit

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Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

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What is the difference between a ginger and a pile of bricks? nothing. nothing at all.

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cool story babe. now go make me a sammich.

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? Generally speaking- biology, except in cases of transexuality.

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Why is Keven's name spelled with an E Because his parents are black.

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Knock Knock Sadly the old woman was death and didn't hear the door knock.

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Q. What do mummies do when they run out of toilet paper? A. Nothing - they're dead and inanimate.

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I saw Scarface uncut last weekend. It was called Face

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Roses are red violets are blue I don't know you so get away from me.

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What did the penguin say to the tiger? I'm in the wrong country.

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Why did the chicken cross the road??? Suicide.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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Life on the line? I just do it for the kill and the potential savage rape and consumption! And yeah, a man is not a man but a boy if he cant protect his lady friends. HEY WAIT A FUCKING MOMENT! Why you playing so hard to get now? YOUR FLESH IS MINE! It is just like a billion pages ago where we where talking VERY down and dirty.

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Thank you Nero, this might not sound apropiate at all, but I am in love with you and have always been, and just want you to know that what I love the most about you is your spirit, your kindness, and sincerely, how you make me feel safe, I think its that you are dead honest to the point where you insult people asking for your opinion, I never had to question what you really mean or want, you just say it out loud, I love you, I realize it must be strange hearing that from someone you see as a daughter, I remember my father too well to consider you one, but I guess I always considered you a hot big brother of sorts. You are 32 huh? You always knew did you not? Why that secret of all things? Ill be arriving as soon as those trained killers of yours show by, and man are they fast and loyal, only you could inspire that love. I know your name is Nero, but I would not mind calling you Axel or at least knight, that's what you have always been for me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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