What is rainbow-colored, makes no sounds, and smells like a banana? A rainbow-colored banana

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

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Knock knock, Who's there? Justin Bieber, LEAVE!

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Roses are blue Violets are red I shot your valentine Straight in the head

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Why was the baby so hot? Napalm. Why was the baby so cold? Meat locker.

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What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? Get on the ship.

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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how many dirty stinkin apes does it take to put in a lightbulb? 3 dirty stinkin apes, 1 dirty stinkin ape to put in the lightbulb and 2 dirty stinkin apes to throw feces at each other

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Knock knock. Who's there? No one, because your house burned down.

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WHATS A GREAT RAVE TUNE KANE !!!!! TUCKER !!!!!!!! DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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what do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? a stick

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

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Why did anna stop wanting to build a snowman? Beacuse she died of cancer.

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Knock Knock.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

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Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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What's silent but deadly? A baby falling from a 10 story building

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Q: My hands are queefing vaginas A: Milk isn't wearing underwears

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it was diagnosed with cancer and didn't want to live any more

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How do you choke a lawyer? You squeeze his neck until he stops breathing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops