A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks the duck "What'll it be?" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck and it can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

MURRRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's long hard and full of seamen? A boat, or possibly a submarine.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Yo mamma is so old that she lives in a retirement home for the aged, and will most likely die there in several years.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you stop an African outlaw who uses child soldiers? Angelina Jolie

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse than a pimple? Finding out it's a botfly.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

how do you find will smith in the snow? look for his teeth

thumb_up thumb_down +11

2 Scientists walk into a bar. The first one asks for H20, and the second one asks for H20 too. They both enjoy a refreshing glass of water.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How many stripes are there on a policeman's socks? None, policemen must wear regulation plain black socks.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what's body surfing? sounds dumb.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what do you do with a fat little chug...kick em in the guts

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

chuck norris will never have a heart attack because he has great cardiovascular health.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What does a tomato and a human have in common? They both spray red liquid when stabbed repeatedly

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red violets are blue Timmy what are doing with that gun?! Bang....

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between 50 dead babies and a three-course meal? One of them can feed me for a day and the other is a three-course meal.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man walks in to a bar, remembering he was actually going to the hardware store, he heads out and leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How did Hitler fit 100 jews in his car? He didn't, he was too busy killing them in concentration camps.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did Austin Bell smell like tuna? He had sea food at Joes Crab Shack

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What human can fly without holding any thing (exept cloths i dont like inapropeate jokes i dont know it a very intresting quesiton

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What kind of key can unlock a banana? Basically any key that is sharp enough.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the mother stop breastfeeding her son? Because he was twenty five.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops