When life gives you lemons Unless it gives you sugar, water, and a cup your lemonade will suck

How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

A man walks in to a bar, remembering he was actually going to the hardware store, he heads out and leave.

What's the difference between 50 dead babies and a three-course meal? One of them can feed me for a day and the other is a three-course meal.

What human can fly without holding any thing (exept cloths i dont like inapropeate jokes i dont know it a very intresting quesiton

The number 69 is? Just a plain old number that has just as much meaning as 68 and 70.

How did Hitler fit 100 jews in his car? He didn't, he was too busy killing them in concentration camps.

What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? A cereal killer.

why did the shark bite the surf board? It thought it was turtle.

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c it was dead. Q: Why did the second monkey fall out if the tree? A: b/c it was stapled to the first one. Q: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c he thought it was a game. Q: Why did the toaster fall out of the tree? A: The branch snapped. Q: Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? A: She was hit by three monkeys and a toaster :( MAB99

So a black guy goes to college and doesn't steal anything or rape anyone. He has a 4.0 GPA and is one of the smartest students at Harvard University.

A nun, a jew, and a black walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

A man walks into a bar the bartender looks at the man and says "Hey son you wanna make one hundred bucks?" the man looks at the bartender and says "Im not your son."

What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

Q: If your 17 year-old-daughter is a drug addict, how many cartwheels are you going to have to do to make it to Georgia? A: The French Revolution, because your grandmothers facebook shows an 11 year-old selling Concords to a green alien, which can only mean that over 600 people watch pórn daily.

My friends a Jehovahs Witness. He got all pissed at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.......i totally stole this joke lol.

Knock Knock Who's there? Rapist :(

why did the chicken cross the rode? so it can get the seed that is between the two yellow lines, and then he walked back without getting hit by a car.

Well You're Full Of It . -Full Of What ? Well , Probably Blood And Other Organs You Can't Live Without . .

A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm bad at poetry, ELEPHANTS!

Why is it OK to make fun of a deaf person? Because they can't hear.

When life hands you lemons you can't make lemonade, Sugar and Water are two other key ingredients that were not included with the lemons.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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