there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not answer because he is a horse, and neither speaks nor understands the english language. He looks around, and is confused by his surrondings. He gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Really sorry Red, I did not mean to leave you hanging, and I hope you wont leave me hanging either, I just need my meds or thinks can get ugly, my health, I can tell you and even show you what my condition is, and heck show you my meds, but there are certain things even I wont spread on horsehead network, you know, people are so bitchy here on the internet, and if people knew what I got, yeaaah, I may start getting green thumbs, and I HAAAAAAATE those. Seriously, on a scale of zero (my ass) to ten, how insane do you see me as?

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

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Why did the kid have a toy truck? because he bought it

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit on the way there.

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey. Posted by: BerserkSpoon

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What kind of key can unlock a banana? Basically any key that is sharp enough.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. I am blind.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good because it is important to keep food chilled to prevent it from spoiling and in turn wasting money

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was Gnrwhaf

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an american walks out of a strip club.

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If there's somethin' strange in your neighborhood Who ya gonna call 911

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whats brown and stick? brown paint that has not dried yet.

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i remember when i was a child i wanted a skateboard but my parents would never buy me one so late one night i crept downstairs and got a hammer and some wood and i beat them to death my foster parents baught me 5 skateboards

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Why didn't the Mother packed her son's lunch? Because her son Timmy likes to go to the canteen

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What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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what kind of mexicans are NOT in the U.S. -legal

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Knock knock. Who's there? Tim. Tim who? Tim Smith.

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What happened to the man who bought his son a birthday gift? He eventually was robbed and shot in the face

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Yo mama so fat she makes blind kids cry

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Why did the black man go to the back of the bus? The only unoccupied seats were back there.

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Like is like a penis long and easy. But women make it hard

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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