Q: Why does it take three Polacks to change a light bulb? A: Because they're so damn stupid.

Knock Knock Who's there? Not Harry Styles! - Louis

Why was the asian boy abused? He got an B in math

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

what did Harold Camping say to the little girl and boy? "You and your parents are going to die today"

Whats red, and spins at fast speeds? A baby in a blender

.Ttwo guys walked into a bar. The third one ducked.

what do you get when you mix peanut butter and jelly? a sweaty black guy

Did you hear about the blonde that crashed her car? No. Is she okay?

Why did the man launch his rocket into the sun? He didn't. Overcoming the sun's orbital pull would require your rocket to travel ~7,400,000 mph, which is a velocity that is impossible for today's rockets to reach.

A boy got a dog for his Birthday. The dog would have said happy Birthday but dogs can't speak.

why should not women able to vote? because their stupid and should not vote at all

Hi welcome to yack in da box, can i hell you? Yes, could i have a jumbo jack? Jew wanna yumbo yack? Yes.

What do you give a homeless person? Poop in a bottle.

What's the difference between a portuguese widow and a llama? One is a portuguese widow and the other isn't.

people magazine

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have 2 legs

Why are pills white? Cause they work.

What is the similarity between an elephant and a grape? Absolutely nothing. One is an animal, while the other is a fruit.

Where did little susie go during the explosion? Everywhere :) What color were her eyes? Blue. One blew this way and one blew the other way. :p Knock, knock Who's there? Not susie :)

Why was the boy cold? Because he couldn't afford clothing.

What did the mexican do when 3 INS workers came to his house? He showed them his papers and it turns out he was a natural born US citizen. The mexican then proceeded to invite the INS into his home for a cup of coffee but they respectfully declined

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

To Daniel You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...