Why can't Bin laden drive because he's dead

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White guy: I figure she's a gold digger, my neighbor. Black guy: Did you say the N word?

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What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

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What's long hard and full of seman. A submarine.

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I insist, you go ahead. See you around. how about in four six hours?

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How do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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What do you call a cross between a dog and a bumblebee? One messed up lab experiment!

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Nero, I can barely stay awake, can we chat more later today though? I would really enjoy that, and sleep before that.

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Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

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Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

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What's red and can sing? Elmo

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What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

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Little goldy locks was walking through a forest and stumbled across a nice cabin. She went inside and ate some newly made porridge and slept on the various beds that were there. The owners of the house came back from a stroll of their own and sued her for breaking and entering.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? If the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are because there are no replacement light bulbs, the don't have transportation, and the nearest store is 10 miles away. In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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What's the difference between a convertible and a dead baby? One's in my garage, and one's a car.

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Okay, you seem sincere enough, thing is that I trust you, but your buddies, if you can vouch for them, then I at least know that you are putting your stepmother in danger if you decide to cover for your friends, besides you being such an emotional crybaby kinda gets me into trusting you again.

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What would George Washington say if he were alive? "Help! im stuck in a coffin!"

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What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

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What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

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Knock Knock I have a door bell It's broken Oh

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Pianos.

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Did you hear about the kid from Texas? He shot his campus up.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Ok good, just checking. It would be a shame for your perishable foodstuffs to go bad.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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