What did the first Ethiopian say to the other? He asked for some food only to realize that the other one had already starved to death.

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What did the boy say after smoking weed for the first time? -"I don't really feel anything" and his friends explained that is sometimes the case for a first time smoker.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because her dad pushed her too hard -Knock knock -Who's there? -Suzie, I'm dead now with a knife through my neck and I'm ready to kill you since you didn't forward that chain letter, now hold still so I can chop off your toes one by one and peel your skin off then leave a bloody mess for your parents -k

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this new cologne, it's kind of gross smelling.

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Knock knock, Who's there Why did the chicken cross the road? Idiot.

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Why did the boy get teased? Because his name was spelt wrong (k)urtis

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Why did the christmas tree smell like shit? because pavaroti used it as a dildo

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your Mom is a fake, she adopted you!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis.

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A man was struck by lightning. What did you think he got super powers or something? No. He died a horrible death

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Why was the man upset? Both sides of his pillow were warm.

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There are 2 muffins in an oven One of the muffins says to the other 'Jeez it's hot in here' Then the other muffin replied, 'OH MY GOD IT'S A FRICKEN TALKING MUFFIN!!!!!!!!

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Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

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Why did the skeleton cross the street. He didn't.

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What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Nope! Chuck Testa.

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MATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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Two peanuts were crossing a road. One was salted.

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Knock knock. Who's there? IRS. Youre being audited, Sir.

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How much does a dead battery cost? Nothing, it's free of charge.

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So there was once this cool little dude that had a purple nose. People would walk by on the streets and say, "Hey! That's a cool nose!" Purple nose man appreciated that they didn't pretend it wasn't there, and instead celebrated the diversity. The next day, he was scalped.

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Why did the man murder his wife? Because she would'nt do the the dishes

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What do you get when you mix a Refrigerator with a dog? Nothing. That would be impossible.

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What happens when you give a fat man scissors? He cuts off the foreskin of your penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops