Bill goes and buys 45 watermelons, what does he have? 45 watermelons.

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Why couldn't the baby play with the blocks? It died during birth.

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What's the difference between a gluten free cereal and a regular cereal? One has gluten, and one has no gluten.

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How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

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What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

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What's the difference between an apple and a baby. An apple is a fruit. A baby is a human being.

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What's black and White and black and White? A nun falling down a stairs

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What's better then 100 dead babies in a barrel 1 dead baby in 100 barrels

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thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

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Caroline Kelly...Tight Butthole

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I used to have a shirt just like yours, except it was green. And it was a bicycle.

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a chicken walks into a bar and gets drunk. the locals then proceed to tell the police because the chicken was harrassing people after he got drunk

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I swear to god it wasnt me Dont swear to go its a sin !

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Why did the boy let the falling brick hit him in the head? He had no legs, so he could not move

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what do mr. potato head and micheal jackson have in common? their noses come off pretty easily

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what do you call a black person who flies a plane? a pilot, you racist

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychological disorder.

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What do you say when you accidently punch a wasps nest? Nothing.The correct choice is ton run as fast as you can to avoid getting stung by the entire nest of wasps.

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A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To suck my dick

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, It's none of my business.

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, seeing as the slaughterhouse was directly across the road from the farm where the chicken lived, the man who owned the farm led his flock of chickens across the street when they were of age and fattened up so that they could be inhumanly massacred in order to process an order of chicken nuggets.

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*Science Teacher goes into his class* Teacher:MR MCAAAAAAAN! What's the answer?! MrMccann: I dunno sir. Teacher: WHAT DO YA MEAN YA DUNNO?! HAVE I EVER ASKED YOU A QUESTION YOU DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER TO?! MrMcann: No Teacher:Then answer this. JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN DO YOU KNOW THE ANSWER?!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops