Knock knock! Who's there? Girl Scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

why did the clown go to the graveyard? because he was dead

Why couldn't Jimmy breathe? He had a knife in his throat!

What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

Why the moron throw the clock out the window? Because he was a moron.

A kid walks into a bar, everyone fled the bar because they were all afraid of goats

Neither have I

What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because it broke...

So a man walks into a bar, right?

What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Let's go ride bikes!

Q: what did the grandmother give to her grandson. A: a lightbulb

Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

Why did the boy fall of his bike? He's learning to ride and understandably lost his balance.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

a. why? b. because I wanted

What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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