Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Want to hear a joke? I hope not because I don't know any.

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You no what the biggest lie in history is? Agreeing to the terms and services whenever you sign up for a website

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test test

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Why did Harry Potter go to meet Professor Lupin? --Because he wanted to practice casting his Patronus

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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I was on Skype with a girl yesterday and she asked "Do you want to see something?" "No," I said "my mom's in the room and she might get a bad interpretation." "I really want you to see this." She said. " No, my mom's still in the room, she'll think I'm weird if you turn out the lights." "Darn I really wanted to see your glow in the dark snuggie."

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Why was the asian a bad driver? Because while he was driving a leprechaun was punching him in the face.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

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What happens when you put four drunk clowns and eight sober clowns inside of a clown car? Nothing, because the clowns realized that it's dangerous to operate a vehicle while under the influence of alcohol and decides to call a taxi instead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. 97

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Q: What does Harry Potter say when he answers the phone? A: "No, she's dead. This is her son."

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. Due to the height of the fall, one of his ribs pierced his heart and he also suffered extensive head trauma and internal bleeding due to the force when he hit the floor, where he lay in agony for several hours before dying a slow, painful death.

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A man walks into a metal bar He had a swell time.

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im @ work, LOL.

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Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

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What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed Awwww sheeeeeeet!

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Interviewer: Are you currently a smoker? Applicant: Are you implying that I look like a chimney?

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An Irish man sips at a large beer. Oh yeah and your mother's a whore.

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what's the worst part about owning a prius? telling your parents you're gay

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Why did a black kid kill his teacher? No reason. That what they do

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Knock knock. Who's there? Screw! Screw who? Screw you.

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Why was Timmy crying when he got home? His family was dead in a pile with a pitchfork going through each of their bodies

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What's white and smells like crap? An albino tird. Just kidding, Justin Biebers music.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops