How many babies does it take to paint a wall? depends on how hard you throw them

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An American, a French man, and Jew were all in an airplane about to skydive. Their skydiving instructor comes out and says, "I'm sorry, there seems to've been a mistake and we only have two parachutes." The company refunds them, and they, while reasonably disappointed, agree to reschedule the lesson.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? I don't know, why don't you go ask him?

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make me a sandwich! what kind?

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A blonde dies Lololol

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Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? A second one

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks: "why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus being incapable of comprehending the complexities of conversation said nothing, and shit all over the floor.

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She loves me, she dosn't love me, she loves me, the girl walks up to the man and says, she doesn't love me

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Jake likes to have tickle parties with McCauley Culkin.

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Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

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What happened when the young child fell off of the swing? He broke open his head causing him to be sent to the hospital for 3 weeks.

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A dog walks into a bar, followed by his blind owner.

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How many Jews can fit in a Volkswagen beetle? Four, although five is possible if you are not afraid of getting a ticket.

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the WNBA.

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A man walks in to a bar, wakes up the next morning with the news that they have found a cancerous tumor in his neck.

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Whats pink and silver and runs into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes. Whats green and silver and sits in a corner? The same baby three weeks later.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

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Knock Knock whos there? brad are you thomas brad are you thomas who? for goodness are you a parot or something

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roses are red violets are blue i done your mom and i do you too

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Harry to Voldemort: Your mother is so fat, her patronus is a cake!

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Why can't Heller Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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