Yo Momma is Like a Prostitute... ...I pay her for sexual intecourse

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why did benny go to the 4th grade school nurse? he had a massive erection.

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Did you hear about the man who lost his right arm and left leg... He's ok now he's all right.

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What do you call a man with leaves on his head? Steve, he's on camouflage training in the Army.

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Why does Larry the Cable Guy get his own T.V. show??? Why can't I have one of my own??? .......ah...forgot....I'm a minority...

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how do you kill a man? slowly saw off all their limbs and then jump up and down on the torso and let all the organs fly out

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Theres a girl you like, and a you are playing football with friends. You see the girl about to get hit by the ball, but you catch it. She says "Your a life-saver" and hugs you "You scream touchdown!!!" to impress her, you spike the ball on the ground and it hits her in the face.

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How did the man escape the giant scorpion? He didn't he watched as his family died and waited for his demise crying in the corner of the scorpion's layer

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A dyslexic walks into a bar. He called it a bra because he was dyslexic and dyslexics misspell things. People laughed at him because mental disabilities are inherently humorous to them.

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hello there i am a male from the small town of balamory and i have just found a very large oblong with an acute right angle strongly attached to the left hand side........do you think i should hand it to the new york extra torestial services ?

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We got him in about five minutes, the kid will already be exhausted by the point we get to him, r rather, he gets to us. Pretty quick for a small geek I got to say, the photography we got of him is an obvious Photoshop, but he seems similar enough I guess. I would call, but it seems someone has been messing with all other "Erron`s" homes and phones if I had not dropped mine, I would not have noticed we have been bugged for a while, pretty professional gear too,

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On September 11th 2001, A worker of North twin tower man woke up to find his dog had chewed on his brand new phone. He went down stairs and realized his kitchen window had been broken. Getting ready to leave for work and saw his radio had been stolen out of his car. After finally making it to work and settling down in his office he spilled coffee on his lap. Enraged, the man yelled, "How could today get any worse!?"

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A man walks into a pizza place and orders a pizza. When he got the pizza, he saw it had pepporonis on it. He liked that, so he ate the pizza.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Yo momma so poor, she can't afford to live in a two story Cheerio box

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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if any1 wants contact with me, nina, call me on my cell at 879-555-0934 im looking for a short, chubby man with a hungering taste of mexican taste

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Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease

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I'm rick james bitch

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary

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whats the difference between a ferrari in my garage, and a pile of dead babies in my garage. I do not have a ferrari but i do have a pile of dead babies

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How do Germans treat the Jewish? Kindly, and with much hospitality.

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what do you call a brown man that has been repeatedly shanked and has been fucked up the arse by 10 Rag heads in one night and thrown in a well to slowly and painfully die? Lloyd.

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This sentence will not end the way you octopus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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