what happened to your carpool? they died.

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Why did your ears get blasted with sound? You never turned the volume down..

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Why was the black person sent to the back of the bus? All of the front and middle seats were taken.

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What's big, black, and just knocked an 8 year old girl off of her bike? The refrigerator I just threw at her. (not all are white you know)

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Why did the man cross the road? He was in a state of depression and chose to commit suicide.

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What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

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Whats fleash color fleash color and fleashcolor? a naked hobo rolling down a hill

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Why did little Annie fall off the swing? Cause her penis was too heavy.

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What's worse than a monkey attack. Nothing monkey attacks absolutely blow.

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You walk by a boy and see he is playing with poop. You ask the boy what are you doing? He says I'm building a office. You ask him why he says "because I don't have shit to make a building"

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there once was a chicken it was yellow

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Michael Jackson walks into a bar. Everyone runs out, screaming, "AH, a dead guy is walking!"

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your so fat. your fat!

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call me maybe.

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i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

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How much hard work does it take to become a man? To get to the other side!

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Why did the black women sing to the left to the left? Answer: because black people have no rights

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What did the black guy say to the drug dealer? "You should probably stop dealing drugs to people because it is illegal and you could be sent to prison for doing so."

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What do you call a jewish womans boobs? JUBES!

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Yo mama is so fat, she's bigger than a whale. I have two fathers.

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What did the dog say to its owner? well as you can see it is physically impossible for a dog to speak english or any other langueges such as french, spanish or chinese.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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