Two Scientologists walk into a bar. For $5,000 you can hear the rest of this joke.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to escape the evil villains in giant mech suits.

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Me: What's the difference between a zebra and a slice of cheese? You: I don't know Me: Me neither

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What do you call 5 black people being killed in a car crash? A terrible incident

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Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

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Whats sad about 6 mexicans driving off a cliff in an escalade? An escalade sits 7 people.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his soon to be butchered family.

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Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He has no legs.

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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Knock knock Whos there A dead boy a dead boy who A dead boy who started tobuy drugs and didn't have the money for it and his family loved him and he was going to go to college

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What did the fat girl mean when she said, " last night was amaziing?" that pizza pie you shared was very well crafted and baked

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An Irishman, a Zimbabwean and a South African walk into a bar... oh wait, it's just the English cricket team.

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky? It had no wings.

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he is no longer alive.

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A woman wears a dress.

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: toothpaste

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Why did I get thumbs down from everyone? Answer: Because they hate my anti-joke.

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why did the US nuke japan besause sending chuck norris would be to cruel

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Chuck Norris will die sometime in the future.

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How do you make an ugly person not ugly? Put a bag over their head. With,, a smiley face.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, others don't

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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