Roses are red, violets are blue, grass is green, sky is blue, dirt is brown, fire is orange, water is transparent, powder is white

thumb_up thumb_down -9

you're momma's so fat, and i like fat chicks. is she home?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I know 7 facts about you: 1. You're reading this. 2. You hate this overused shit. 3. You may think I will skip a number. 5. And you hate me much more. 6. You have seen porn. 7. You want me to kill myself. I am just gonna go suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Looks like you are having a TUFF time recovering from the game.....lol.....

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Eric went for a poo in the public toilets. After he finished, he realised that there was no toilet roll. So he had to just pull up his pants and put up with his sshitty arse for the rest of the day. Unfortunately, he was in a board meeting and when he went in he stank of shit and it was a very uncomfortable feeling.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock knock Who's there The police The police who? Ma'am your son is dead

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did Colnel Sanders cross the road? Colnel Ryan Sanders crossed the road to attack Taliban fighters who were endangering his military presence.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what do i refer too White people = Business Yellow People = Smart Black People = Drug Smugglers, Terrorists, Rapists etc

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why couldn't Jack and Jill climb the hill? Because they were bagels.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Yo momma's such a whore that she violates the sanctity of marriage by sleeping with other men other than her husband.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A boy grows up loving tractors. For birthday and Christmas each year he got a tractor toy of some kind, until the age of 17, when he finally gave up tractors and got himself a CD player. One day, listening to all the latest tunes with some headphones, he looks outside to see his neighbour's house on fire. He goes outside to find firemen trying to put out the blaze. He jumps into the blazing house and inhales as much as he can, which astonishingly puts out the blaze. A fireman confusing asked "How did you do that?" The boy replies, " I'm an ex-tractor fan."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A gay man goes out with a butch lesbian and develops a loving relationship, years later they get married and have kids, adopting them from the local orphanage and lives happily ever after.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did Susie fall off the monkey bars? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you make a sandwich out of clay? Shape it like a sandwich

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you know if you're gay? You find yourself sleeping with people of the same sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call the man with no arms or legs, swimming in the bay? Bob.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A young boy trips and severly cuts his knee while running down his neighborhood street. He is promptly brought to the hospital to avoid receiving any serious infection.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the Chicken Cross the Road? The Light was red.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a blue and black dot on the wall? A fly wearing blue jeans.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man is at the doctor's office and the doctor says to the man: "I'm sorry sir, you have AIDS and Alzheimer's disease." The man says: "Well, at least I don't have AIDS!"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah Witness

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops