Your mumma's so fat she is fat

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On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown how angry are you?

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What do you call an awesome bucket? An epic pail.

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Why did the girl cry? She got hit by a bus.

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Why did the man cross the road? His mother had recently passed away after a 12 year battle with lung cancer and is visiting her tombstone.

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You're on a bus and the driver is black, you're white friend turns to you and says, We're gonna have a race on the highway!

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away? What about the vampires?

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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why did matt daly want to go to prison? to be fondled

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I had some crack, my unicorn says hi.

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what did the little boy say to the man? Nothing because earlier that day his mom reminded him not to talk to strangers

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A guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "whered you get the pig?" The guy says, "It's not a pig its a parrot." The bartender says, "i was talking to the parrot."

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What do you call an anti joke that's not funny? Non-existent.

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A genie walks into a bar. The bartender asks for three wishes. The genie says "okay". The bartender says "I wish I was the richest person in the world." The genie says "okay." Then He woke up

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Why did Kallum come to Getaway? Because he ran out of hats

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What stinks of shit and has money. Smelly Mc Dee I lied about the money.

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How do you make a penguin fly? You strap it to the roof of a plane.

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10 years later...... a baby is born in Japan and has 26 toes due to radiation

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Me: Have you ever eaten Ethiopian food? You: No. Me: Neither have they.

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George W. Bush

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Alchohol.

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kieran is a homosexual

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, incapable of understanding the human languages, promptly shits on the floor and leaves...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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