A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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My friend was driving me home from a party, and was quite drunk. I was relieved that we did not get into a car crash.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Hello, I am Sergent Henry Orange. I'm afraid your husband was shot down by an enemy aircraft. I'm sorry, he was a brave man.

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Do you know what's the sexiest thing in the world? Sex.

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One scientist is talking to another scientist. One say "what's the matter?" The other replies "my family is dead"

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What's black, brown and red? My dog as a serial killer

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Girl goes to see a sex therapist. Girl says, "Doc, though this has never been a problem, for the past 3 months I have been unable to reach climax. Can you help me?" Doc says, "Yes.". And after an intense 18 months of therapy the doctor helped the girl to discover that her inability to reach climax was related to issues of childhood sexual abuse. And after another 36 months of therapy the girl finally found the courage to confront and forgive her unrepentant abuser, as she realized that by not forgiving him, it was like drinking poison while hoping that he would die. And though the doctor did help her,as he had said, the girl never regained her ability to reach climax again.

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Why can't a T-Rex masturbate? Because dinosaurs have been extinct nearly 65 million years, due to an asteroid collision with the Earth

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Why did I write this joke Because I'm board as hell

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This blind man read my mind the other day. I swear, it's like he has a 5th sense!

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Yo momma's so stupid, she got a moderately low score on her SATs, and sadly, was not excepted by any colleges she applied to, and never got a job. This is why she became depressed, and resorted to suicide to escape the growing pain.

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I hated the Reading festival, i'm dyslexic. I hated it because my family died in a housefire while I was there.

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Male leadership.

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What's worse than finding a knife in your car? Finding a car in your knife.

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What did the blonde say when she saw anti-joke.com for the first time? Nothing. She's been in a vegetative state for three years and her parents finally decided to pull the plug.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. To get to the other side. Original anti joke.

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When Harry met Sally, she slapped him twice without reason, walked away and kept on with her day.

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jd and zach loves vigina

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your mumma so fat when she stepped on the scales it said her phone number

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What did the boy say before he died? I'm dying.

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man:"gullible is written on the celling" boy looks up

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How do you call a hispanic man crossing the border? First you must find out his phone number, then using a different phone make a phone call to him.

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What do you call an Asian who can't drive? Underage, and therefore has not required his license to do so.

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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