nick walked into macdonalds... everyone stood up and left as they saw the potential danger in the situation.. nick later ended up bieng hit by a bus after chasing a duck

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

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Two black guys walked into a bar. And they killed everybody.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

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What did the douche bag get for Christmas?

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Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Q: What do you call a black person flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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Why did Suzy have burns on her face? Because her little brother attacked her with a hot curling iron thinking it was a lightsaber.

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djkldfnblfnbofgb

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Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

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How do you drown a blonde? Force her head underwater until she can no longer breathe, thus shutting down her brain and killing her.

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Your legs are more open than my back door! Which is closed.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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Why doesn't the little boy talk to his mom? Because she smells like barbecue sauce.

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If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

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My closet is like the wardrobe to Narnia, accept my closet isnt a portal into a magical world.

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What did the Blonde do when she saw train tracks? She walked over slowly, looked both ways, and crossed safely

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If monkeys ate trees, than what would trees be made out of? No one knows because that will never happen.

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Q: which is easier to unload a truck of dead babies or a truck of alove babies? A: dead babies cause u can use a pitchfork

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What is red and fluffy?... Your teddy bear covered in blood...

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo Boo who? I don't have a last name, it's just Boo

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knock know. who there?.............. whose there?.........whose there!?!?! damn kids

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops