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What do you call a mailman who doesn't deliver mail? Unemployed

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roses are red tulips are too, violets are violet, not freaking blue.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

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Q:What did the boy do when his girlfriend cheated on him? A:He broke up with her because cheating is wrong and he deserves better.

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whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

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what happens if you toss a grey stone into a red sea? it gets wet...

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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Friend: Dude are you going to see the hunger games? Me: But i alreay seen it Friend: Dafuq? its not even out yet. Me: African children invented the hunger games. Friend: -.-

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Where did the RICH black man go to? His home

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Why did the guy die. He OD on drugs

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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A man wakes up after only one hour of sleep due to his insomnia. He starts to cry because his wife just passed away and his parents were recently killed in a car accident. The man gathers his composure, takes a shower, and drives to his minimum wage job. He was expelled from high school for an assault he didnt even commit and has no money to get an education. At work, he accidentally drops a box of valuable, fragile electronic parts and gets fired by his boss. He goes home to his dirty 1 bedroom apartment and contemplates suicide. He decides to wait as his favorite tv show is on. He turns on the tv to the news his show has been cancelled. The man, depressed, suicidal and alone, picks up his .22 and kills himself. There is no God.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

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What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

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Roses are red, Violets are microwaves, I have amnesia, Roses are red.

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What happens when you cut a body in half? An erection.

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Their was once a man named Bob Clemens who really wanted to have sex with an underage girl. So one day he went on an online chat site to find one. He ran into this young girl and told her all the things he wanted to do to her and she told him that she had never done anything and really wanted to try it. Bob went over to her house one day and she told him to sit down and grab some cookies while she came back. She came back and Bob gave her the roughest pounding that any human being could recieve.

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Why can't Hellen Keller watch Spongebob? She doesn't have the proper cable service

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What's worse than being eaten by a giant bear? Hitler.

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What did batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis. -Rivrawr

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i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

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What did the penguin do in the desert? He died .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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