What do you call a bug stepped on 47 times, then burned to a crisp? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call a black man at KFC? A customer.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why didnt the man go to the wedding? he wasnt invited.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

If your Jewish, then don't go to Germany.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

whats worse than finding a dead cat in your kitchen? a dead cat in your bedroom

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A black man walks into a bar. The barman says 'We don't serve your kind here'. The man leaves and goes to a nearby bar that doesn't have racist staff.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Yeah, I know too, its as if "Omg he has not replied in 5 seconds something must be wrong", sorry about that. Not endorphin person? That cannot be too good.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock knock. Who's there? Jack. Honey, Jacks here, will you get the door?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Your mom says hi!.........Jinks!!!! yeah yeah yeah yeah yeaaaah.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the user is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How are black people and apples the same They both hang from trees

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A girl walked into a bar and sat next to a man. She asked what he was drinking. He said something that makes you fly. She didn't believe him. He then went up to the roof, jumped off and walked back in the front door. She got the drink then tried to jump off the roof, and died on impact. The bartender said to the man "You're a real asshole when you're drunk superman."

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what did the man say when he was reading a book? nothing, if u assume the situation when hes reading to himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Whats funny about a guinea pig water skiing? The part where he explodes.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a black guy with a peg leg? An amputee.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

An englishman, an irishman amd a scotsman were walking down the street. What a fine example of unionism

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by an 18 wheeler Knock knock Whos there not sally

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you get when you cross a rooster with a cocker spaniel? Nothing, because roosters and Dog's don't mix.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the Iraqi cross the road? Because he was hired by the CIA as an undercover operative to lead them to a highly dangerous target in the small town of Aziziyah and was leaving the area to avoid the impending Pavelow strike on the town center.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

a naked man walks into a bar the police arrived 10 minutes

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A white man, hispanic man, and a black man walk into a bar together. They order cokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the chicken cross the road? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . His family was experiencing financial troubles, and needed money. He tried applying for many jobs, but they just didn't quite work out. After ending up in the drug business to support his family, a deal went bad and he was shot, landing him in the hospital. The night his family arrived to check on him, the same shooter made his way to his room, and murdered his wife and 3 children, and somehow managed to evade police. Months after this incident, Ralph, the same chicken who was in the hospital and witnessed his family's murder, was finally released. He had nothing to live for, nothing to look forward to in the future. He took up alcohol abuse for some time, until realizing what truly had to be done. He began tracking down his family's killer, and with each day spent, he became closer and closer to discovering the dealer's whereabouts. One day, he finally figured out who it was. As he arrived at the killers' home, he took one last deep breath, then stormed in. After fighting through many of the dealers' body-guards, Ralph finally reached the notorious drug dealing murder, Foghorn Leghorn. As a bloody battle ensued, it was clear who the winner would be.. As Ralph staggered out of the destroyed home, bloodied, yet victorious, he realized something. All the tracking, all the killing, all the bloodshed he had created, was all in vain. He realized that taking Foghorn's life didn't, and wouldn't, bring his family back. Finding himself dumbfounded, he began to trot, head down, through the field where the bad drug deal happened, almost a year ago now. He took one last deep breath, looked at the stars, and took his first step on the road. This was it he decided, he was finally going to reunite with his family again once more. As the headlights raced towards him, he heard his family in unison whisper to him "You're finally home Ralph, you're finally home."

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the jew go to the doctors? Because he had a severe headache.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Nero Octavios reporting, so far all of our sectors worldwide excluding Spain, Italy and Ground Zero are secure, Nero Augustus is severely wounded but will make it, and despite the our intel Necrissa Angelo is alive and well. We have one single worry though Nero7 the brunt force of the terror attack was large and powerful, yet resistance was incredibly light when we went for the counter-strike, too light, we might have to ready ourselves for some sort of reprisal here.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops